Godly Success In Marriage

Godly Success in Marriage - Part 1

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

We (kian heng and kok yong) wish to share with you what we have gained on this all-important topic - MARRIAGE. Over the next few weeks, we’ll share portions from the book by Thomas Nelson entitled “The 12 Essentials of Godly Success”.

We welcome your comments and contributions too!


Part 1


Marriage: Foundation for Joy or Rock in Your shoes?

If you’ve ever jogged for exercise, you know that if you were to start a marathon and then notice a rock in your shoe after the first couple of steps, you wouldn’t keep running. Even though that rock may be a little irritation right away, by mile ten you’ll be dreading every time your foot hits the ground. And by mile twenty, you’ll be the first person to finish a marathon hopping on one foot.

Your shoes are not merely elements of your race; they are the foundation on which you stand. If you have a rock in your shoe at the beginning of a marathon, you have to stop right there and make it right. You can’t afford to take another step until you take off that shoe and get the rock out. Then you can proceed and finish that race.

Having a godly marriage is as integral to a life of success as good shoes are to a marathon. You better get marriage right at the start; if you don’t, it will come back to haunt you.

You cannot be happy and successful in life when your marriage is in shambles. Your marriage is not simply something you add on to the side of your life; it is something you are. You truly have become one flesh, Mar 10:8 "and they shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh..". Marriage is inseparable from your very life. And great marriages are an exclusive club – only the selfless can be members.

We’ll cover four foundational beliefs for true success in marriage. And then We’ll offer you seven foundational actions. Belief and behaviour – four things you need to believe, seven acts of behaviour. These are not optional – you don’t get to pick your favourite eight out of eleven. If you miss one of these, your marriage will eventually have serious problems, as will your life.

We will all struggle with these, but I hope to struggle long and well. That’s what makes a good marriage instead of a bad one; the willingness to struggle.

Belief 1: Fear of God

The fear of God means that you do the right things for the right reasons. I used to be confused when I read that verse that says, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26). It doesn’t look like it makes a lot of sense. “You have to love Me more than these people to be My disciple.” And then as I progressed in the Christian life, I realized that was the most wonderful notion you could have. When you love God supremely, then your faith determines your actions. You will be doing the right things for the right reason. You will be consistent.

For instance, I spoke in San Antonio this week. I didn’t know what my wife was doing for two days, but that doesn’t bother me. I’ll tell you why. Because I know who my wife is and I know who my wife fears and I know who my wife loves.

It’s not that I know my wife will act a certain way. I know why she acts the way she acts, and it’s not because of me. Otherwise, her actions would shift according to my faithfulness. She acts a certain way because of the un-movability of God.

You can’t have a marriage if you don’t have an immovable reason as to why you will be gentle, loving, faithful, kind, and respectful. In the creation it was God and Adam first, then Adam and Eve. God has to be central between two people before you can bring them together. You can do all the counseling and all the psychological and philosophical talking about relationships that you want, but it’s not worth a hill of beans if you’re not trusting in something that doesn’t move. And the only thing we have that doesn’t move is God. So the first foundational belief for marriage is that both individuals must fear God and seek to obey Him. Good behaviour has its roots and life in the fear of God.

Questions for discussion:

Why is the fear of God foundational to marriage? When your relationship with God is not right, how does that affect your other relationships? How do you turn that around?

Some verses for meditation:

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10

“The fear of the LORD prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be shortened.” Proverbs 10:27

“For in many dreams and in many words there is emptiness. Rather, fear God.” Ecclesiastes 5:7

posted by Lighthouse @ 8:47 PM