Godly Success In Marriage

How to say "I Love U"

There are so many differences when it comes to the way we communicate, think, feel, respond and relate to one another, not to mention the entire set of emotions and hormones that the male gender seems to be without! It makes it very challenging when we want to tell each other those precious words “I love you”.

Becoming One

I know that God created marriage to be something very sacred and special for a man and woman to share. Genesis 2:24 and Ephesians 5:31 state, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.” Unity is defined as “a state of being one; harmony; agreement, uniformity; combination of separate parts into a connected whole- one!” To become one, I definitely needed to ask myself what God was saying in these verses. To find the full definition of unity requires reading the owner’s manual and all the operating instructions of the ultimate Inventor and Creator. I am referring of course to the Bible.

There are many ways to tell your spouse that you love him but the greatest love language is prayer. Now I am not talking about “God please change him/her.” This is not love language and not how God intended us to pray. In Matthew 7:1,3,4 (NIV) Jesus says: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” We all have our faults and weaknesses but they are for us to personally address with God as He convicts each of us of the things in our hearts and lives that we need to allow Him to change.

“Lord, please change me.”

So, what kind of prayers am I referring to? I am speaking of the kind of prayers that ask God to change me. “Dear LORD, please, I need your help. Change me, I pray. Change how I respond to my husband/wife when I am tired or cranky. Fill me with Your Holy Love that I may be the husband/wife You created me to be that I may have the desire and love for him/her that You intended for husbands and wives to share in unity. Help me to know his/her needs, being sensitive to all that is going on in him/her each and every day. Grant me understanding and patience. Show me where I need to change to be a godly husband/wife, pleasing You, LORD.”

Next, ask God to bless your spouse- all areas of his/her life including his/her hobbies and interests. Make the effort to know these things about him/her. The exception of course being anything that does not fall in line with scriptures and God’s will for believers. Praying such prayers for your husband/wife is powerful and will impact your marriage in ways that you cannot imagine. As you spend time praying, you enter into the Presence of God allowing Him to fill you with His Spirit of Love. The incredible thing is that you will also notice God at work in your spouse’s heart because of this. When you share with your spouse how you have been praying for him/her, it will speak powerfully to his/her heart and he/her will hear your words of “I love you”.

Little things count too

1 John 3:18 (NIV) says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” The focus in our marriage should not be “what can my husband do for me?” but rather “what can I do for my husband?”.

Romans 12:10 (NIV) says, “Honour one another above yourselves.” This is selfless love which not only builds up a marriage but creates a generous giving attitude that I promise you will effect your husband and your marriage in ways beyond description. Again, this is because God empowers these attempts to give of ourselves, pouring out His blessings to the receiver but also to the giver (you and I) as His Spirit moves in and through our efforts. This is not something that comes naturally to us in our humanness but as we choose to be this way, God will do amazing things.

There are things I can do to make my spouse’s busy day less busy or show him that I appreciate him. Ideas on how to do this usually come very easy to my mind when I ask about his/her day the evening before. My mind set may be, “Well, he isn’t asking about my day or what my tomorrow is like” but I need to remind myself that it is not about his attitude. God is working on my attitude and I am called to put others first, before myself.

As I allow God to change me, I will witness God at work in and through this as He also influences those around me. Allowing God to fill me with His Spirit of Love will result in an outpouring from me into the lives of those I am connected with especially those closest to me. I know from personal experience as you surrender yourself to God, your spouse will hear and know the words “I love you.”

God wants to be our leverage in living, empowering us to love better, be more grateful for those we love and more enthusiastic about our faith.

In conclusion, let us ask God to be the leverage we need in being more confident in who you are, more in tune with those you love. God bless.

posted by Lighthouse @ 1:04 PM