Friday, July 20, 2007

Preparation before Marriage

It all begin with: Can we buy a house? Dear, will you marry me? Darling, can you be my helpmate? Or I guess it is time for us to settle down. Isn't it?

Marriage is instituted by God and is honourable among all, therefore we need to take the steps of marriage seriously. (Heb 13:4)

A. Spiritual Aspects

And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. (Luke 2:52)

1. Pray and seek together diligently before God

  • Pray together and commit your marriage to GOD

  1. “But as for me, I would seek God, and to God I would commit my cause” (Job5:8)

  2. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. (Psa 37:5)

  3. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Pro 3:5-6)

  • Pray without ceasing (I Thess 5:17)

  • Prayer list: Refer to items on “B”

  1. To seek fellowship with parents and elderly saints.

  • My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of mother; for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck. (Proverb 1:8-9)


B. Practical Aspects - (Fantasy vs Reality)

1. Emotional and psychological readiness

  • Have a mind to learn: (Great changes in your Environment & Expectation)

“To live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, so long as you both shall live?”

I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. (Phil 4:12)

2. Financial stability (Need and Want)

  • Wedding Photo Package, Dowry, Dinner, Thanksgiving, Accommodation.

For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. (Matt 6:32)

3. Relationship with future in-laws

  • And the second, like it, is this: 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (Mar 12:31)

4. Planning for children

  • But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. (Eph 2:15)

5. Marriage Ceremonial Rites

  • Registration of marriage (ROM) and the Customary Wedding simultaneously or separately?

  1. “To live together in the legal estate of matrimony?

  • Should we be obliged to do things that may not be befitting for saints? e.g. Pay respect to ancestor.

  1. you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, (Exodus 20:5)

  • Tea Ceremony: Should Christians kneel to serve tea?

  1. Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. (Psa 95:6)

  • Wedding gowns

  1. “In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing,” (I Tim 2:9)

6. How to handle differences of opinion in marriage preparations

  1. “submitting to one another in the fear of God.” (Eph 5:21)


C. Purpose of the R.O.M. and Thanksgiving Meeting

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. (John 2:1)

This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him. (John 2:11)

1. Registration of the marriage in accordance to the laws of the country

a. To fulfill all righteousness:

But Jesus answered and said to him, “Permit it to be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he allowed Him. (Matt 3:15)

b. To fulfill all legal requirements:

Marriage Solemniser’s Address
“Before you are joined in matrimony, it is my duty to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage according to law is the union of one man and one woman, voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others.”

Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme. (I Pet 2:13)

c. God is Witness:

“Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” (Mal 2:14)

2. To rejoice with all the saints, relatives and friends (John 2:1-11; I Cor 12:26)

“And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honoured, all the members rejoice with it.” (I Cor 12:26)

3. To Glorify God & His Goodness

“Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” (Rev 19:7)


I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,

And I will glorify Your name forevermore.

(Psa 86:12)





posted by Lighthouse @ 5:52 PM

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