Thursday, March 18, 2010

Some tips on how to be a better listener

Some tips on how to be a better listener

Here are some tips on how to be a better listener:

  • You need to listen when someone is talking.
  • Maintain EYE TO EYE contact.
  • Pay attention to your partner and be focus.
  • Do not interrupt.
  • Do not jump to conclusion or give solution or advise. Hear the full story first.
  • Keep an open mind. Do not judge. Do not look for "faults" in what your partner is saying.
  • Be loving and supportive.
  • Ask questions to clarify what you have heard.
  • Look out for the non-verbal communication – eye contact, tone of voice, facial expressions (smile, frown, disgust, tears, surprise, tears, rolling eyes etc)
  • Lastly, do bring your spouse to prayer.
We need to learn to commit all things to GOD. Be Blessed.

posted by Lighthouse @ 1:53 PM 0 Comments

Some tips on how to be a better listener

Here are some tips on how to be a better listener:

  • You need to listen when someone is talking.
  • Maintain EYE TO EYE contact.
  • Pay attention to your partner and be focus.
  • Do not interrupt.
  • Do not jump to conclusion or give solution or advise. Hear the full story first.
  • Keep an open mind. Do not judge. Do not look for "faults" in what your partner is saying.
  • Be loving and supportive.
  • Ask questions to clarify what you have heard.
  • Look out for the non-verbal communication – eye contact, tone of voice, facial expressions (smile, frown, disgust, tears, surprise, tears, rolling eyes etc)
  • Lastly, do bring your spouse to prayer.
We need to learn to commit all things to GOD. Be Blessed.

posted by Lighthouse @ 1:39 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Pls consider!!

Although this is a mail that send to me by a sister, i guess it is alright for me to forward it out to all of you (only to those who are going to or are married's: under my bcc to "married group"). I thank her for her frankness and openness. You know, having to grow up in our congregation for almost 22 years, without the Grace of God of serving HIM fulltimer, without the frank and openness of other saints that i have fellowshipped with, i would not have known that there are so many "problems" in our "Christian marriage" especially when everyone look "OK" to me when i see them on the Lord's day.
As for the children, I recalled years back when i ask the children this question while serving them : "Is there Christian in the prison?" you know what is their answer? "NO" was the answer. That is the perception of a child. How can Christian go to jail? How can Christian married "break", how can Christian couple "shout" and "fight". Would your child take it when they realized that mummy and daddy do not love each other anymore, or daddy or mummy is not coming home anymore "(.......

Although this sharing is more towards Husbands, but i believe that it is also happening to wife, ie : "Lord, did i married the wrong guy", "There he goes again".......

All i want to say to those who are married, "Do not forget your married vow. It is not only toward men, but it is toward GOD, HE was there when both of you made the Covenant of Marriage.

To brothers, be more sensitive to your wife. To sisters, be more respectful to your husband, Be Blessed! Here are our sister sharing :

"Husbands, stop falling into lucifer's trap where your marriages are concerned. At this age, the best to break up a family that God has put together and destroy his church is to make husbands believe that they have married the wrong wife! 'Maybe this is not what God has given me'. 'This 'Eve' caused me a lot of pain' or 'i think i didn't obey God by marrying the other woman', 'u see for yourself, God, there she goes again!' 'We are so different, how to goes on like this?' etc. Wake up Brothers! These are pack of lies from the Devil
1 Corinthians 7:10-11: "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: a wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife."

What God has put together, man shall not divide. Even when Eve was led into temptation and sinned by eating the fruit the devil gave in the garden of Eden, God didn't divide them. So what justification do u have that u shall divide among yourselves? Pls don't tell me that is different cos they are in the old testament or they are different cos we are in different worlds. The setting is the same.
Husbands, examine yourselves if u feel u have married the wrong "wife" !! Sorry, there is no such thing as married the wrong wife. It is you have changed cos you see your wife differently. Ask yourself
"how much time u have spent with her alone, not watching TV, not finally after the kids are asleep but when was the last time u have held her hands and felt the same love for her like when you were not married yet'. Ask her how much assurance you have given her. When was the last time u told her 'i love u' like you did before.

The key person here is the recipient who is your wife, not yourself. Dun try to justify for yourself how much time u have for yourself. What topics to talk about. What's the point of all these. Come on, we are married for so many years and these are not the key issues. You will realised that it is you who have changed. Character differences is not the reason stated in the bible for divorce, nor is there a reason for husbands to commit adultery. You are the head of the family, everything is in your hands. It will be in God's hands if u have committed it unto Him. Spare the children as you really dunno how much destruction you have done.
thats all...for now.

posted by Lighthouse @ 12:17 PM 0 Comments

Friday, March 27, 2009

Be Blessed!

While walking with a brother this morning, he told me a wonderful piece good new, of course, it did not come easy. He has to go thru "sort of" a valley of the shadow of "death" before the Lord brought him to Elim, where there were twelve wells of water and seventy palm trees; (Exo 15:27). Glory be to GOD!
And that remind me of my own experience while my dad went for his 2nd "balloon" surgery for his heart recently. My dad was asked to sign a form where he was told by the doctor that in this surgery, there are 3% chances where it will go wrong, causing him to suffer stroke or heart failure, and it will be a 2 hrs surgery.
At the moment, to me, it was like a clean sheet of paper having a "tiny black dot" on it. That "black dot" signified that 3% failure in the surgery. Although i pray and pray, but somehow i was still drawn to think of that tiny "black dot" instead of the other 97% successful. Full of fear and anxiety :) And after waiting for over 4 hours instead of 2 hours, that tiny black dot seem to be bigger and bigger. After waiting for almost 5 hours, finally, my dad was push back to the ward. The reason for the delay? well, it was due to a emergency case that the doctor have to attend to before attending to my dad :( and praise the Lord, my dad is well and normal now. But i believe, thru this, my dad got to know a name : LORD JESUS CHRIST!., to me, i was once again being trained by the Lord with regards to how much do i really cast my cares upon HIM, and believe that whatever it is, Jesus doeth all things well.
Dearest brothers and sisters, Isn't this what we are going thru daily. We just like to focus on that tiny "black dot" on a piece of clean sheet instead of the other 97% of the clean sheet. Oh, how we need the Lord Jesus Christ to preserve and sustain us daily. So often, we are lost when we face with so many problems in our lives, full of fears and anxiety.

May we learn to cast our care on HIM and continue to believe in HIM what comes may. You know, saints, before the Lord brought my dear brother to "Elim" where there were wells of water, while he was in the midst of the valley, althought he felt sad and despair, he did not blame or give up the LORD, yet he continue to pursue and before he realised, he reached not one but 12 wells of water, not one, but 70 palm trees. Be Blessed!

posted by Lighthouse @ 10:23 AM 0 Comments

Thursday, March 19, 2009

We are "ONE"

"If only you listen you would have listen to me", "Why you choose not to listen to me in the first place! you caused this mess, you clean it up!", " and "Is too late....." a song that love to be sung by a brother when mistake are made by someone else.

Does the above sound familiar to you or have it ever occurred to you before ? you, being the one who rebuke or the one being rebuke?

Looking back the years of my married, offended i am the one that rebuke my wife, right? mummy. I recalled when i asked her to be the financial controller of my house and when it ran into problem years back, i tend to jump at her, blaming her and usually we end up arguing. But today, i tks the Lord for opening my eye! Being "ONE" with her, we should share the problem together and not pointing finger. If i let her be the financial controller, i should trust wholeheartedly, of course, she will also discuss with me certain issues and when the decision are made, be it right or wrong, it is "OUR" mistake and not the other spouse mistake. Yes, she is still my financial controller, getting better and better :)

So, dear husband n wife or future husband and wife, remember, what ever decision that had been made by both of you, be it one party agreed or disagreed, when the mistake is made, pls do not point finger. All i can say is: we have to learn to trust one another. Of course, there are certain decision that is no so easy to decide, pls learn to pray and respect one another. Be Blessed!

posted by Lighthouse @ 10:56 AM 0 Comments

Monday, January 26, 2009

Good advise TOO late!

A fact to share to all you especially to parent or those who gives "good advise" :)

"Sometimes parent tend to give "Good advise too late", think about it, "good advise too late".
It is like when a young boy hit his head on the edge of the table, then his mom says to him : "careful !!"

How true isn't it......

posted by Lighthouse @ 9:29 AM 1 Comments

Do you agreed?

"The meanest most contemptible kind of praise is that which first speaks well of a man (spouse), and then qualifies it with a "BUT""

Henry Ward Beecher

posted by Lighthouse @ 8:49 AM 0 Comments

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Need and Want

Interesting quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?'
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

posted by Lighthouse @ 5:36 PM 0 Comments

Friday, October 10, 2008

Praying with your spouse

Dear beloved saints,

Be of good cheer!

This morning i was reminded by my wife to pray together, and Praise the Lord, we did. I thank God for her being my helpmate. And i thank God to use her to remind me the important of praying together.

I do not know how many of us have stop praying together with our spouse. Pls recover. Perhaps you are in the mist of quarrel, in the mist of breaking down, in the mist of not talking to one another or in the mist of restoring your marriage. In fact, the more your should come together and pray. I know it is not easy as you might say : "How to pray, i am still boiling with me".

I assured you, the more you pray together, the lesser will be the conflict with one another, cause when both of you learn to commit your worry and problems to GOD, you will see that both of you are going thru the difficulties as ONE and not individual, and most of all, not "pointing finger" as each others. Isn't how a quarrel started?

One of the secret of successful marriage is to come together and pray. Be Blessed!

posted by Lighthouse @ 10:11 AM 0 Comments